The time is upon me. 9 days away and the reality of my situation has recently started to sink in. I'm making my final preparations and am ready for the next 9 days to just be over with. Two months on my own in Xi'an China - it is difficult to believe.
I understand I have to approach this situation with caution. It seems that when people get themselves into trouble their first error is a general lack of respect for their situation. To underestimate anything is just asking to be beaten by it.
I can not tell if what I am feeling is excitement or fear. Perhaps it is both. Despite the fact that fear and excitement have become somewhat indistinguishable, I do know that I am happy. Happy for the opportunity, for the experience, for the people I will meet, the children I will help, and the places I will go. Happy to perhaps understand a people and a nation better than I did before. I feel that we see these people and this place through filters called CNN and FOX who overtly have agendas of their own. "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face" Perspective changes when it is your boots on the ground. So I will travel through the looking glass, to see what is on the other side, help the ones I can, and hopefully come out the other side a better person. Because I, like everyone, will one day be permanently dispatched, either by time or some other means, and all that will be left are the people we affect. It is up to us to choose whether we affect them positively or otherwise. I'll write back, and let you know how deep the rabbit hole goes.